Time is Running Out

On a metal table I rest with trepidation,
Electrodes, glued to my scalp:
I fear time is running out.
I think only from my heart-
I follow my dreams everyday, and
Every night my thoughts are spinning-
A wheel of self- destruction.
Time is running out:
I am constantly weeping inside, as
Tears are copiously flowing down the inside of my chest.
My mind plays games and always loses, and my
Time is running out.
I am going to die next week.
What shall become of me?
Never have I conversed with the dead.
I just don’t understand.
What life’s meaning is or
If I am so close to death,
Where shall I find myself on death’s arrival?
The clocks are ticking inside my brain.
Voices plague me on the inside of my mind, as well as
From the outside.
A lone tear cascades down my cheek,
Carrying inside none but an inkling of all that I fear, although
In spite of its crystal clarity,
No one could ever imagine how terrified I feel as
Time progresses-
Moment by moment,
Second by second, I wonder,
Who is watching me?
Who is the thief of my identity?
Who will I face after I die?
I am living behind a shadow that keeps me
Hidden within the darkness.
Can I only let go of time if
I live my dreams where time seems never ending?

Claudia Krizay aka schizoclaud